"Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?"
Only saw this movie recently. A damn shame, it's actually quite good.
In other news, while Ava gets a hot date with our dear friend the Incompetent Fuck-up, I'm dealing with an investigative squad from a certain asylum. They haven't found this blog, nope they're searching everyone who had any access to the records in the past month. Turns out a large amount of documents have been stolen, some ripped from a computer and the all evidence of their existence destroyed.
Said I wanted to help if I could gave them the official documents, and then I asked while they were checking the information. A little misleading, a little vagueness, out comes what they were really searching for 'hard copies of select information'. Probably those sealed documents, glad I hid them off-site.
Also a Valentine treat for all my fellows: a boring yet mildly ominous report.
"All Subjects have successfully been cured of their shared delusion. A new batch of Subjects has popped up, but they are of a less extreme case than the outgoing group. Subject/Patient ---has been a great asset in this endeavor. After my own meetings with him I have started to see the problem, His is a mighty presence, one that would be hard for children to stave off. I am no child however I can hold Him back, I'll personally handle all future Subjects, and their curing. I have thought of many ways to cure those who have seen Him. As for the current head of the Subjects, as I will be overseeing all future Subjects I don't think he'll be necessary any more. Finally, continue to watch all Subjects except Subject ----(Elizabeth) I will watch over my daughter myself.
Signed and sealed,
INFORMATION EXPUNGED"
I've called her house...her dad is gone, left a note about how he was going to his daughter, and his children, those who were left.
Good Luck
Showing posts with label Past and Present. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Past and Present. Show all posts
Monday, February 14, 2011
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Extend Ash-Hourai Victim
Regular Session with Subject/Patient --- #14
Doctor: About this relationship you've been forming with Elizabeth
Me: What about it?
D: I know you had contact with her last time you were here.
M: Yes
D: And you were getting along fine then, and when you first came
M: Yes
D: So what's changed?
M: Her opinion of it is changing.
D: How so?
M: She's started calling it almost fanatical names, like she's worshiping it.
D: And how are the others, and yourself reacting to this?
M: I don't like it, the others are agreeing, they think it's to be worshiped I think it needs to be killed
D: Right, right, I've let this go far enough this Tall Man isn't real He doesn't exist.
M: [Angrily] it, Doctor, it. it is not a man it is malice, and negativity given form, and if it doesn't exist then what happened to my friends?
D: [Soothingly] Yes, right, it, forgive me the others just prefer I refer to it as the Ta-that name.
M: Right, right.
D: Now then I feel we can move on
M: To what?
D: According to an incident report from a few days ago Elizabeth had cut herself and was saying some rather unpleasant things.
M: That happened.
D: You're response was, do you remember?
M: I punched her, trying to knock her out
D: And when the blood splattered on you?
M: Not my fault, she did it to herself, because of it, not my fault, couldn't be real, it's all a fake it's just paranoia, not my fault, but can't be real, fragile fragile all so damn fragile.
D: Jeffery! Focus!
M: [Startled] Huh? What? I-what?
D: Perhaps you should tell me more about this forest behind your house, just what kind of experiences have you had in there?
M: Just walks. Never saw anything that wasn't a bug. Heard them all the time, flashes from the perio-periph-peri
D: Peripheral?
M: Yeah, that. Deers, coyotes, foxes, squirrels, everything really.
D: Coyotes?
M: Or something, they were always just out of sight.
D: This didn't bother you?
M: A little, when I was younger, but they never did anything it just was.
D: Ever get lost?
M: All the time, but never for more than a few hours I always stumbled back onto the path, or something appeared and I followed and then I was out and whatever led me out was gone.
D: 'Something'? 'Whatever'?
M: Yeah, sometimes they were deer other times those dog-like things, squirrels, birds, whatever.
D: Every time you got lost?
M: If it was late.
D: And this isn't odd to you?
M: Got used to it.
D: Right.
[Nothing else important happens here 'regular session #15 however]
D: Are your fellows still-
M: Yes, they seem to think that's safer, and some are just.
D: And what are you doing?
M: Dissuading them reminding them it's all in their heads explaining it away.
D: And that's working coming from you?
M: Somewhat, it showed up and they started getting a little-
D: Yes, there was an incident report to that effect.
M: An incident report of it showing up?
D: No, of the extreme patients all gathering in one place in awe and terror except you and Elizabeth who were arguing and gesturing to empty air.
M: Where everyone seemed to agree it was standing.
D: Does it exist?
M: I don't know anymore.
D: it doesn't make sense, just forget, and see if you can get the others to as well.
M: Yeah, sure.
[Regular session #16]
D: Why aren't you as afraid of it as the others seem to be?
M: Because I hurt-I didn't-I maybe-stabbed it with an icicle. Was so mad, just killed the only people who would actually talk to me like a person, just grabbed at the first thing I could and stabbed. They were-weren't melting the mist burned and I stabbed it and one of the things the long things like a squid that were there but couldn't be that left a wound that can't exist. it lashed out, it hurt, it burned, it cut, I pulled the icicle back it's...goo or blood, or whatever flew off. Landed on my arm, on my face, on my everything, burned so bad. Felt something, something that's not real, can't be real, can't be. it hit me, or, or something or I lost my balance or, one minute stabbing the next against a tree. Real loud now, with the screaming, and the blood and the mist that didn't burn so bad anymore and the pumping of my heart and theirs and the animals that were everywhere and wouldn't shut up and the screaming of the trees and it there in the center of the chaos the thing that isn't can't ever be, but is. Then it was gone and they were gone, and the trees stopped screaming and the animals stopped screaming, but my heart was still hammering away, and I walked, and then doors. Was lost, lost for so long, for hours, minutes, seconds? Reporters say three days, can't be can't be, can't be, wasn't gone that long, why were there doors in a forest, where did everything go? Why? Got annoyed told them, told them to take me back, doors opened whispered horrid things, that I should just die, that everything would forever be fragile, like glass, so fragile, always doomed, always doomed to break everything to crack, and creak but never break but watch things break. Out of the forest, animals watching me deer runs out looks at me, and walks away, bleeding, burning, still can smell death and blood, and taste iron, and dirty and crying and the icicle has melted, and they're all dead, and fragile and strung up in the trees. So fragile, so fragile, so fragile. Can't have happened, didn't happen, not, not, not.
(Here Doctor [REDACTED] forced a pill down Subject/Patient ---'s throat in an attempt to help him calm down. He displayed a rather violent reaction immediately retching before vomiting into the office's trash-bin, oddly this seems to have helped him regain his focus)
M:[Weakly] I...I apologize, that was all, all a fantasy to hide whatever truth exists in this head of mine obviously, but it won't be coming out today I think.
D: Yes, we will call this meeting done for today. See you next time.
M: Yeah.
Sealed document:
Subject/Patient --- continues to espouse his desire to kill the Recurring Problem, and has talked some of the lesser cases down into a more stable state of mind where they can be convinced it truly is nothing, however the more extreme cases such as Elizabeth [REDACTED] must be dealt with in slightly more extreme measures, hypno therapy and gentle nudging can create memories surely they, with some assistance can erase or suppress them as well. The 'leader' of the cult-fanatics Elizabeth [REDACTED] shall be the first test subject, Subject/Patient --- shall be the last circumstances permitting, his dissuasion and Elizabeth's removal from leadership should have a beneficial effect for all.
Signed and Sealed
[INFORMATION PURGED]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I suppose it should be obvious since these documents are 'sealed' but it's becoming increasingly obvious that I am really not supposed to have these papers. I've also run a check on the staff registry, the Doctor who gave me these papers isn't on the staff registry, the actual Doctor who I was supposed to meet called and informed me that he had been attacked and someone had replaced him. I have since met him and obtained the 'official' documents. They match mostly, but the 'official' ones have a bunch of stuff either added or removed from the ones I received on my initial visit. The 'official' ones aren't the ones I've been posting, so what do you all say, is this realistic enough or am I being led astray by someone? If the initial paperwork is the real-deal I'm very lucky this blog and gmail account is under a false name, they probably aren't keeping that close an eye on someone who's been 'sane' for 6 years.
Other consequences of these papers being real: me and Elizabeth met in a mental hospital, she introduced me to it, it led me to her, her sudden defect to it's side wasn't so 'sudden' after all. Also....no shouldn't even think that until I get some theories on the validity of the reality in these pages.
Oh, and I haven't said this lately, and I really should be:
To everyone
Good luck, and give it hell.
Doctor: About this relationship you've been forming with Elizabeth
Me: What about it?
D: I know you had contact with her last time you were here.
M: Yes
D: And you were getting along fine then, and when you first came
M: Yes
D: So what's changed?
M: Her opinion of it is changing.
D: How so?
M: She's started calling it almost fanatical names, like she's worshiping it.
D: And how are the others, and yourself reacting to this?
M: I don't like it, the others are agreeing, they think it's to be worshiped I think it needs to be killed
D: Right, right, I've let this go far enough this Tall Man isn't real He doesn't exist.
M: [Angrily] it, Doctor, it. it is not a man it is malice, and negativity given form, and if it doesn't exist then what happened to my friends?
D: [Soothingly] Yes, right, it, forgive me the others just prefer I refer to it as the Ta-that name.
M: Right, right.
D: Now then I feel we can move on
M: To what?
D: According to an incident report from a few days ago Elizabeth had cut herself and was saying some rather unpleasant things.
M: That happened.
D: You're response was, do you remember?
M: I punched her, trying to knock her out
D: And when the blood splattered on you?
M: Not my fault, she did it to herself, because of it, not my fault, couldn't be real, it's all a fake it's just paranoia, not my fault, but can't be real, fragile fragile all so damn fragile.
D: Jeffery! Focus!
M: [Startled] Huh? What? I-what?
D: Perhaps you should tell me more about this forest behind your house, just what kind of experiences have you had in there?
M: Just walks. Never saw anything that wasn't a bug. Heard them all the time, flashes from the perio-periph-peri
D: Peripheral?
M: Yeah, that. Deers, coyotes, foxes, squirrels, everything really.
D: Coyotes?
M: Or something, they were always just out of sight.
D: This didn't bother you?
M: A little, when I was younger, but they never did anything it just was.
D: Ever get lost?
M: All the time, but never for more than a few hours I always stumbled back onto the path, or something appeared and I followed and then I was out and whatever led me out was gone.
D: 'Something'? 'Whatever'?
M: Yeah, sometimes they were deer other times those dog-like things, squirrels, birds, whatever.
D: Every time you got lost?
M: If it was late.
D: And this isn't odd to you?
M: Got used to it.
D: Right.
[Nothing else important happens here 'regular session #15 however]
D: Are your fellows still-
M: Yes, they seem to think that's safer, and some are just.
D: And what are you doing?
M: Dissuading them reminding them it's all in their heads explaining it away.
D: And that's working coming from you?
M: Somewhat, it showed up and they started getting a little-
D: Yes, there was an incident report to that effect.
M: An incident report of it showing up?
D: No, of the extreme patients all gathering in one place in awe and terror except you and Elizabeth who were arguing and gesturing to empty air.
M: Where everyone seemed to agree it was standing.
D: Does it exist?
M: I don't know anymore.
D: it doesn't make sense, just forget, and see if you can get the others to as well.
M: Yeah, sure.
[Regular session #16]
D: Why aren't you as afraid of it as the others seem to be?
M: Because I hurt-I didn't-I maybe-stabbed it with an icicle. Was so mad, just killed the only people who would actually talk to me like a person, just grabbed at the first thing I could and stabbed. They were-weren't melting the mist burned and I stabbed it and one of the things the long things like a squid that were there but couldn't be that left a wound that can't exist. it lashed out, it hurt, it burned, it cut, I pulled the icicle back it's...goo or blood, or whatever flew off. Landed on my arm, on my face, on my everything, burned so bad. Felt something, something that's not real, can't be real, can't be. it hit me, or, or something or I lost my balance or, one minute stabbing the next against a tree. Real loud now, with the screaming, and the blood and the mist that didn't burn so bad anymore and the pumping of my heart and theirs and the animals that were everywhere and wouldn't shut up and the screaming of the trees and it there in the center of the chaos the thing that isn't can't ever be, but is. Then it was gone and they were gone, and the trees stopped screaming and the animals stopped screaming, but my heart was still hammering away, and I walked, and then doors. Was lost, lost for so long, for hours, minutes, seconds? Reporters say three days, can't be can't be, can't be, wasn't gone that long, why were there doors in a forest, where did everything go? Why? Got annoyed told them, told them to take me back, doors opened whispered horrid things, that I should just die, that everything would forever be fragile, like glass, so fragile, always doomed, always doomed to break everything to crack, and creak but never break but watch things break. Out of the forest, animals watching me deer runs out looks at me, and walks away, bleeding, burning, still can smell death and blood, and taste iron, and dirty and crying and the icicle has melted, and they're all dead, and fragile and strung up in the trees. So fragile, so fragile, so fragile. Can't have happened, didn't happen, not, not, not.
(Here Doctor [REDACTED] forced a pill down Subject/Patient ---'s throat in an attempt to help him calm down. He displayed a rather violent reaction immediately retching before vomiting into the office's trash-bin, oddly this seems to have helped him regain his focus)
M:[Weakly] I...I apologize, that was all, all a fantasy to hide whatever truth exists in this head of mine obviously, but it won't be coming out today I think.
D: Yes, we will call this meeting done for today. See you next time.
M: Yeah.
Sealed document:
Subject/Patient --- continues to espouse his desire to kill the Recurring Problem, and has talked some of the lesser cases down into a more stable state of mind where they can be convinced it truly is nothing, however the more extreme cases such as Elizabeth [REDACTED] must be dealt with in slightly more extreme measures, hypno therapy and gentle nudging can create memories surely they, with some assistance can erase or suppress them as well. The 'leader' of the cult-fanatics Elizabeth [REDACTED] shall be the first test subject, Subject/Patient --- shall be the last circumstances permitting, his dissuasion and Elizabeth's removal from leadership should have a beneficial effect for all.
Signed and Sealed
[INFORMATION PURGED]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I suppose it should be obvious since these documents are 'sealed' but it's becoming increasingly obvious that I am really not supposed to have these papers. I've also run a check on the staff registry, the Doctor who gave me these papers isn't on the staff registry, the actual Doctor who I was supposed to meet called and informed me that he had been attacked and someone had replaced him. I have since met him and obtained the 'official' documents. They match mostly, but the 'official' ones have a bunch of stuff either added or removed from the ones I received on my initial visit. The 'official' ones aren't the ones I've been posting, so what do you all say, is this realistic enough or am I being led astray by someone? If the initial paperwork is the real-deal I'm very lucky this blog and gmail account is under a false name, they probably aren't keeping that close an eye on someone who's been 'sane' for 6 years.
Other consequences of these papers being real: me and Elizabeth met in a mental hospital, she introduced me to it, it led me to her, her sudden defect to it's side wasn't so 'sudden' after all. Also....no shouldn't even think that until I get some theories on the validity of the reality in these pages.
Oh, and I haven't said this lately, and I really should be:
To everyone
Good luck, and give it hell.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Major Surgery
Hospital records state that Patient/Subject --- had a severe and unexplained redness across the whole of his body as well as a large gash on his left arm. The redness faded before any conclusion could be reached as to its cause. Patient/Subject ---'s left arm was treated immediately, however the leading physician noted afterward: 'the emergency paramedics noted the deepness of the wound, but at the time of surgery the wound was actually quite shallow. Further blood tests of [Patient/Subject ---] shows mild discrepancies with prior blood work.'
The victims were found two days later hanging from the trees of [REDACTED]'s public park, while Subject/Patient --- was still in the hospital. Victims were found in the usual state with several organs moved to different points; with one strange constant: the heart of all victims were placed whole in the left arm. The bones in the victims left arms have not yet been recovered in either the forest, or the victims' bodies. Various patches of skin on the victims' bodies appeared to have been melted off, as if by some high concentration acid, these missing patches of skin all have a tell-tale redness around them.
Judging by the state of the victims and Subject/Patient ---'s ramblings it is clear he has met the recurring problem, as such I move he be relocated to the extreme ward to prevent him from infecting others.
Signed and Sealed
[INFORMATION PURGED]
The victims were found two days later hanging from the trees of [REDACTED]'s public park, while Subject/Patient --- was still in the hospital. Victims were found in the usual state with several organs moved to different points; with one strange constant: the heart of all victims were placed whole in the left arm. The bones in the victims left arms have not yet been recovered in either the forest, or the victims' bodies. Various patches of skin on the victims' bodies appeared to have been melted off, as if by some high concentration acid, these missing patches of skin all have a tell-tale redness around them.
Judging by the state of the victims and Subject/Patient ---'s ramblings it is clear he has met the recurring problem, as such I move he be relocated to the extreme ward to prevent him from infecting others.
Signed and Sealed
[INFORMATION PURGED]
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Black Star(Never Lose Myself)
Final session with Patient ---
Date: 03/05/03
Doctor [REDACTED]: Hello
Patient ---: Hi.
Doctor [REDACTED]: The heads have agreed to release you.
Patient ---: Really? Awesome!
Doctor [REDACTED]: However, I'd first like to confirm some things for myself.
Patient ---: Do you really have that authority?
Doctor [REDACTED]: As the lead psychologist on your case, I assure you I can.
Patient ---: Fine, ask away Doc. I'll answer to the best of my ability.
Doctor [REDACTED]: You've made an amazing recovery in a short amount of time with no medication-
Patient ---: My problem is what I wit-did, what I did and what I subsequently saw, not a default error in my brain.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Indeed, and while I'd like to think these sessions are the sole factor to your recovery, in my years I've learned it's not that easy.
Patient ---: I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean.
Doctor [REDACTED]: How long has this all been an act? Since the beginning?
Patient ---: Ahh, I see, you think I used the 'I've gone insane' defense?
Doctor [REDACTED]: I do, to be frank you're symptoms are so rare, unique, and the trauma set in so fast, that as our sessions went on I found myself doubting your place here.
Patient ---: Well, I'll be leaving very shortly.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Or not.
Patient ---: A threat?
Doctor [REDACTED]: If you were to say you were cured and I were to disagree that just proves....
Patient ---: Denial. 'I'm not crazy' I say 'he is' you assure I'm labeled as 'in denial' and I stay in here 'till you get tired of the joke.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Do you think I would do that?
Patient ---: Perhaps, if you truly thought you were tricked.
Doctor [REDACTED]: A good answer, so do you think I think I was tricked?
Patient ---: You believe I tricked you for some time, but not the courts. 'Temporary insanity', and when I was truly cured [Deliberate pause] I continued to fake it, for what purpose?
Doctor [REDACTED]: To wait for the chatter to die down, and the sympathy to begin after all you were almost the one was killed that night, rather than that 9-year-old..
Patient ---: Very well thought out, and the concrete proof is....
Doctor [REDACTED]: My very own Catch 22, I can't bring my hypothesis to the table, even if it is the truth, for the only evidence exists in that brain of yours.
Patient ---: Catch 22?
Doctor [REDACTED]: A trap where the only way out of the situation is to not be in the situation. To use the example in the book of the name of this very dilemma: a pilot must be declared 'unfit to fly' so they wouldn't have to undertake the dangerous missions requested of them.
Patient ---: And the method to prove you're not 'fit to fly' proves you are?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Correct you would have to be mad to undertake the missions, and must therefore take them by choice, but the pilot would have to choose to be evaluated to even have the option of being seen as 'unfit to fly' but in asking to be evaluated they prove they are sane enough to be declared 'fit to fly'
Patient ---: So in this case; if I admit I was faking it, it'll be recorded and shown, but if I don't you'll trap me here for only you know how long...the example doesn't perfectly fit this situation though.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, if you admit you were faking you will still be released, but so to will the knowledge that you faked that insanity.
Patient ---: I don't plan on being put into another situation where I'm questioned by the police, I am, usually a very nice person.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, like you consoled Miss [REDACTED].
Patient ---: Yes.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Do you remember her hallucination?
Patient ---: Hallucination? Oh, right, the tall man with no face. I still don't get it, but maybe, no never mind.
Doctor [REDACTED]: That again.
Patient ---: Hmm?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Last time we met you were about to ask me a question then left without asking it.
Patient ---: Ahh...right, that. I was just curious, but then I remembered you wouldn't know anything about it.
Doctor [REDACTED]: I might.
Patient ---: It has nothing to do with me.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Ask the question, you may get something good out of it.
Patient ---: Like say the whole 'maybe he faked it' issue gets pushed away and never mentioned again?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes.
Patient ---: Maybe she was raped by an older man.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Oh, is that all?
Patient ---: Hey I'm 12 be shocked at the brazen suggestion!
Doctor [REDACTED]: Its just, we've researched that avenue before the number of cases-
Patient ---: Number of cases! Other people are seeing that same hallucination?
Doctor [REDACTED]: I'm going to be straight about this: many children see the same images from media, therefore it's not uncommon for a similar hallucination to be ingrained into children, I thought someone as observant as yourself may provide a slightly more stable insight into the fears, but it seems I was wrong.
Patient ---: Is that really all?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes.
Patient ---: Should I keep my eyes on popular culture, to maybe, help them?
Doctor [REDACTED]: No. You clearly do want to help, but it'd be better if you forgot.
Patient ---: That ward, does 'extreme' mean people who've had that hallucination?
Doctor [REDACTED]: You're getting released, forget everything.
Patient ---: I haven't confirmed your suspicions.
Doctor [REDACTED]: No, I never really expected you to, enjoy the rest of your life, I hope we never have to meet again.
Patient ---: Agreed. Goodbye Doctor, and thank you for your efforts.
Notes: Patient --- was released the next day. His words held no confirmation nor denial of his mental state for the entirety of his stay. I am officially suggesting we keep an eye on former patient --- for the next few months to ensure he does not meet the recurring problem.
Signed: Doctor [INFORMATION PURGED]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think you should all get to know my worse points as well. The doctor was right...sort of, some of it was certainly an act specifically the beginning, it was only in the darkness and silence that I saw the sight of the kid I killed, and I stewed and went half-mad, still don't deal well with silence to be honest. At least I finally have an answer to one of my questions: it was 9 years ago that I almost suffocated and killed someone in 'self-defense', the events of 7 years ago are still a jumbled mess in my head. I've shown the 'important' bits of that stay. 7 years ago is a little bit more... hectic and psycho from what I've seen. There's also more 'sealed' documents attached with that time. Well back into the roiling sea of insanity and words for me.
Date: 03/05/03
Doctor [REDACTED]: Hello
Patient ---: Hi.
Doctor [REDACTED]: The heads have agreed to release you.
Patient ---: Really? Awesome!
Doctor [REDACTED]: However, I'd first like to confirm some things for myself.
Patient ---: Do you really have that authority?
Doctor [REDACTED]: As the lead psychologist on your case, I assure you I can.
Patient ---: Fine, ask away Doc. I'll answer to the best of my ability.
Doctor [REDACTED]: You've made an amazing recovery in a short amount of time with no medication-
Patient ---: My problem is what I wit-did, what I did and what I subsequently saw, not a default error in my brain.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Indeed, and while I'd like to think these sessions are the sole factor to your recovery, in my years I've learned it's not that easy.
Patient ---: I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean.
Doctor [REDACTED]: How long has this all been an act? Since the beginning?
Patient ---: Ahh, I see, you think I used the 'I've gone insane' defense?
Doctor [REDACTED]: I do, to be frank you're symptoms are so rare, unique, and the trauma set in so fast, that as our sessions went on I found myself doubting your place here.
Patient ---: Well, I'll be leaving very shortly.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Or not.
Patient ---: A threat?
Doctor [REDACTED]: If you were to say you were cured and I were to disagree that just proves....
Patient ---: Denial. 'I'm not crazy' I say 'he is' you assure I'm labeled as 'in denial' and I stay in here 'till you get tired of the joke.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Do you think I would do that?
Patient ---: Perhaps, if you truly thought you were tricked.
Doctor [REDACTED]: A good answer, so do you think I think I was tricked?
Patient ---: You believe I tricked you for some time, but not the courts. 'Temporary insanity', and when I was truly cured [Deliberate pause] I continued to fake it, for what purpose?
Doctor [REDACTED]: To wait for the chatter to die down, and the sympathy to begin after all you were almost the one was killed that night, rather than that 9-year-old..
Patient ---: Very well thought out, and the concrete proof is....
Doctor [REDACTED]: My very own Catch 22, I can't bring my hypothesis to the table, even if it is the truth, for the only evidence exists in that brain of yours.
Patient ---: Catch 22?
Doctor [REDACTED]: A trap where the only way out of the situation is to not be in the situation. To use the example in the book of the name of this very dilemma: a pilot must be declared 'unfit to fly' so they wouldn't have to undertake the dangerous missions requested of them.
Patient ---: And the method to prove you're not 'fit to fly' proves you are?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Correct you would have to be mad to undertake the missions, and must therefore take them by choice, but the pilot would have to choose to be evaluated to even have the option of being seen as 'unfit to fly' but in asking to be evaluated they prove they are sane enough to be declared 'fit to fly'
Patient ---: So in this case; if I admit I was faking it, it'll be recorded and shown, but if I don't you'll trap me here for only you know how long...the example doesn't perfectly fit this situation though.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, if you admit you were faking you will still be released, but so to will the knowledge that you faked that insanity.
Patient ---: I don't plan on being put into another situation where I'm questioned by the police, I am, usually a very nice person.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, like you consoled Miss [REDACTED].
Patient ---: Yes.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Do you remember her hallucination?
Patient ---: Hallucination? Oh, right, the tall man with no face. I still don't get it, but maybe, no never mind.
Doctor [REDACTED]: That again.
Patient ---: Hmm?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Last time we met you were about to ask me a question then left without asking it.
Patient ---: Ahh...right, that. I was just curious, but then I remembered you wouldn't know anything about it.
Doctor [REDACTED]: I might.
Patient ---: It has nothing to do with me.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Ask the question, you may get something good out of it.
Patient ---: Like say the whole 'maybe he faked it' issue gets pushed away and never mentioned again?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes.
Patient ---: Maybe she was raped by an older man.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Oh, is that all?
Patient ---: Hey I'm 12 be shocked at the brazen suggestion!
Doctor [REDACTED]: Its just, we've researched that avenue before the number of cases-
Patient ---: Number of cases! Other people are seeing that same hallucination?
Doctor [REDACTED]: I'm going to be straight about this: many children see the same images from media, therefore it's not uncommon for a similar hallucination to be ingrained into children, I thought someone as observant as yourself may provide a slightly more stable insight into the fears, but it seems I was wrong.
Patient ---: Is that really all?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes.
Patient ---: Should I keep my eyes on popular culture, to maybe, help them?
Doctor [REDACTED]: No. You clearly do want to help, but it'd be better if you forgot.
Patient ---: That ward, does 'extreme' mean people who've had that hallucination?
Doctor [REDACTED]: You're getting released, forget everything.
Patient ---: I haven't confirmed your suspicions.
Doctor [REDACTED]: No, I never really expected you to, enjoy the rest of your life, I hope we never have to meet again.
Patient ---: Agreed. Goodbye Doctor, and thank you for your efforts.
Notes: Patient --- was released the next day. His words held no confirmation nor denial of his mental state for the entirety of his stay. I am officially suggesting we keep an eye on former patient --- for the next few months to ensure he does not meet the recurring problem.
Signed: Doctor [INFORMATION PURGED]
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I think you should all get to know my worse points as well. The doctor was right...sort of, some of it was certainly an act specifically the beginning, it was only in the darkness and silence that I saw the sight of the kid I killed, and I stewed and went half-mad, still don't deal well with silence to be honest. At least I finally have an answer to one of my questions: it was 9 years ago that I almost suffocated and killed someone in 'self-defense', the events of 7 years ago are still a jumbled mess in my head. I've shown the 'important' bits of that stay. 7 years ago is a little bit more... hectic and psycho from what I've seen. There's also more 'sealed' documents attached with that time. Well back into the roiling sea of insanity and words for me.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Voile, the magic library
Report of incident 2245 and following session with Patient ---
Date: 3/03/03
Patient --- entered 'special cases' ward and was found with subject ----. Subject ---- was clinging to patient --- and speaking of the recurring problem. Patient --- was attempting to calm subject ---- to little avail. Patient --- was reluctant to leave subject ----'s side but eventually relented. Patient --- should receive a session as soon as possible to prevent the recurring problem from becoming more prevalent.
Signed, and sealed
[REDACTED]
Patient ---: Hello, Doctor
Doctor [REDACTED]: Hello, son.
Patient ---: What seems to be the problem?
Doctor [REDACTED]: For starters that area you were in, you weren't supposed to be there.
Patient ---: [A brief pause] why?
Doctor [REDACTED]: We've already be over this; that area is out-of-bounds as it is for particularly extreme cases.
Patient ---: What is 'extreme' anyway?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Confidential. [Quickly] Now then I think you should know that Miss [REDACTED] suffers from-
Patient ---: Hallucinations, what else could it be? A tall man without a face that is 'always staring', what else could it be?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, good you are able to tell the difference between reality and illusion.
Patient ---: That isn't my problem Doctor.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Indeed, and in regards to that problem you have made great leaps lately to returning to normal society.
Patient ---: [Laughs] Yeah, sure 'normal'.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Now then, would you care to share how you managed to get into that ward?
Patient ---: No.
Doctor [REDACTED]: [Shocked silence] I-I see, then [how] about the usual game, you give me a hint to the solution and I'll-
Patient ---: No
Doctor [REDACTED]: Why?
Patient ---: All the hints you need should be in the security cameras, right?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, yes, of course. Now then if you'd follow Nurse [REDACTED] back to your room.
Patient ---: [Still sitting, making no motion to stand]: Doctor?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes?
Patient ---: [Hesitates, then stands] Never mind, it's not really important.
Notes: Patient ---'s rehabilitation is continuing steadily without use of medication, his inherently curious, yet distrusting nature however continues to be a roadblock. That final question, I wonder what he wanted to ask? Perhaps I can bring it up naturally in our next, and possible final meeting. The heads feel he is ready to be released, barring one final practical test, the nurses so far have noted he responds to nearby injuries as a normal person would: with shock and a desire to help, as opposed to his prior breakdowns. He seems to dismiss the recurring problem as nothing more than a hallucination, if he continues to think of it as such and forgot it, more the better. Review of the security footage shows the patient entering the special ward through a disused part of the building, and why weren't these doors locked?
Patient ---
Name: Jeffery [INFORMATION PURGED]
Age at Admittance: 11
Gender: Male
Date of Admittance: 10/13/02
Date of Birth: 12/28/90
Date of Release: 3/05/03
Initial Diagnosis: [REDACTED]
Date: 3/03/03
Patient --- entered 'special cases' ward and was found with subject ----. Subject ---- was clinging to patient --- and speaking of the recurring problem. Patient --- was attempting to calm subject ---- to little avail. Patient --- was reluctant to leave subject ----'s side but eventually relented. Patient --- should receive a session as soon as possible to prevent the recurring problem from becoming more prevalent.
Signed, and sealed
[REDACTED]
Patient ---: Hello, Doctor
Doctor [REDACTED]: Hello, son.
Patient ---: What seems to be the problem?
Doctor [REDACTED]: For starters that area you were in, you weren't supposed to be there.
Patient ---: [A brief pause] why?
Doctor [REDACTED]: We've already be over this; that area is out-of-bounds as it is for particularly extreme cases.
Patient ---: What is 'extreme' anyway?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Confidential. [Quickly] Now then I think you should know that Miss [REDACTED] suffers from-
Patient ---: Hallucinations, what else could it be? A tall man without a face that is 'always staring', what else could it be?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, good you are able to tell the difference between reality and illusion.
Patient ---: That isn't my problem Doctor.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Indeed, and in regards to that problem you have made great leaps lately to returning to normal society.
Patient ---: [Laughs] Yeah, sure 'normal'.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Now then, would you care to share how you managed to get into that ward?
Patient ---: No.
Doctor [REDACTED]: [Shocked silence] I-I see, then [how] about the usual game, you give me a hint to the solution and I'll-
Patient ---: No
Doctor [REDACTED]: Why?
Patient ---: All the hints you need should be in the security cameras, right?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, yes, of course. Now then if you'd follow Nurse [REDACTED] back to your room.
Patient ---: [Still sitting, making no motion to stand]: Doctor?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes?
Patient ---: [Hesitates, then stands] Never mind, it's not really important.
Notes: Patient ---'s rehabilitation is continuing steadily without use of medication, his inherently curious, yet distrusting nature however continues to be a roadblock. That final question, I wonder what he wanted to ask? Perhaps I can bring it up naturally in our next, and possible final meeting. The heads feel he is ready to be released, barring one final practical test, the nurses so far have noted he responds to nearby injuries as a normal person would: with shock and a desire to help, as opposed to his prior breakdowns. He seems to dismiss the recurring problem as nothing more than a hallucination, if he continues to think of it as such and forgot it, more the better. Review of the security footage shows the patient entering the special ward through a disused part of the building, and why weren't these doors locked?
Patient ---
Name: Jeffery [INFORMATION PURGED]
Age at Admittance: 11
Gender: Male
Date of Admittance: 10/13/02
Date of Birth: 12/28/90
Date of Release: 3/05/03
Initial Diagnosis: [REDACTED]
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Kinjirareta Asobi-Pandora Hearts
Not the opening to Rozen Maiden.
Got the notes, and the transcripts with relative ease. I'm going through some of them now, two years in all. Just a heads up on my situation although it would appear while I was trapped in the past some things have been going on in the present. Will had that junk character binary which has apparently been decoded:
"Twisted demon of a land forgotten wondering through the sands of time in searching for answers about its creation tormenting those who learn its nature given a name but not a face soon you will all be displaced".
Heh, 'wondering'. It strikes me as...ironic, that me, and it seem to have the same problem. A lot of new blogs have popped up, that I need to catch up on when I get the time. And Isabella came back just long enough to bid farewell, while Jean keeps going living only for the sake of saving another. Well if that's the identity she's clinging to I'm in no position to criticize.
Good Luck
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