Friday, November 26, 2010

No Buts!

Haven't done a proper blog sweep yet but it seems Nessa's safe with Fizz, which is awesome, but it seems Zero's doubting the validity of these attacks and our survival. Well Zero if you're reading this I'll be honest: every goddamn day when I was separated from all this, by not being attacked, by country boundaries, trying to stay upbeat and helpful, even refining my poor social skills to better facilitate that. Perfecting filtering my thoughts into a more 'stable' looking form. All while fearing I'd be blown off or unable to help anyone, goddamn it, I'm a nothing in a nothing offshoot of a nothing town I have all of two one friend 'cause I'm so strange. I used to stay up all night shivering in fear that everything was for nothing and almost gave up, almost walked away so many goddamn times, it sure would've been better for my mental health.

Now though? Now I can proudly say I'm fighting along with everyone else, its my pride and my strength, I'm not afraid because if its paying attention to me with everyone else I'm a threat, that fear of being unable to save anyone is gone. That desire to save others is what pushes me to do what I do, yes even the killing, even that will weigh down my soul one day, when this is over and I'll question whether I could have saved them, but right now, every one I fell is one more that won't touch anyone else. It can only threaten my own life at this point, if I go down it won't be with fear but with pride that I've thinned its ranks, and made it play the defense for once.

I was attacked last night, big time, I'll check on everyone else's condition before posting about it, 9:48 here.

"Shout out! Now, there is no other path to advance down
Your chest is unreliable, so strike out with your heart
Misfortune made you realize happiness
If you overcome it you'll see happiness
So go right away
No Buts!"

1 comment:

  1. You alright? Seems like the attacks are getting more and more brazen.I think they want to take out the Fighters to demoralize everyone else.

    Also, Nessa's alright. Docile, but apparently that's usual for Hallows not "in use" so to speak. Gonna keep trying to improve her condition any way I know how. At least she's eating and drinking.