Sunday, August 7, 2011

Song of the Ancients ~ Fate

I'm feeling better now. I have no explanation for that last post. At all. Maybe it happened or maybe it was a fever dream, or a demonstration of how broken my mind was after that experience. The point is, I stepped back, I had to, I was still on high alert at all times, but I needed to pull back and heal myself first. I can see in my drafts several half-started gibberish insane ramblings. Some amazing coherent, some almost wholly in other languages, and of course some were just my jumbled diffused thoughts refracting and splintering into a million crepuscular violets, and reds, and golds. Huh. That was pretty poetic, clearly I haven't done enough delving into the wasteland of our madness yet. Also, there are MORE sages!? D-didn't we all get up and collectively go: "that was dumb we're not making that mistake again". Well, I haven't looked into them myself yet. Time to do research on numerical codes~!

Good Luck

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Devil in a midnight mass

You're dead.

Well someone with my face was killed

Fog everywhere.

Why are you here mmmmmmmm

Ihavenoname, you know it.

You do, it's.........................


Screaming and running and hunting and stalking and andandandand FRAGILE

Sodamnfragile, maybemaybe


Maybe it's why he hit you, alwaysalwaysalways



Can't not allowed.

SomuchcontrolNewDaddy has over you ma-ma--ma...damnit!


Meant it...but what has the the doctor done?


Screaming and running and hunting and stalking and FOG

Justgoing touse you and throwyouaway..haha just like OldDaddy



Huntingandstalking and watchingandkilling Tanoshi ya.

Isdem Pius Isdem.


Runaway. Runaway. Runaway.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Null Moon

Catching up.
You're Dead.
A lot of people are coming back
Someone with my face died.
I-what do you say, when people just stop being dead?
Might not even be, damnitdamnitdamnit!
Zero: wow...his plan, this new plan, this madness. I just-wow. Actually shaking right now, can't believe he'd fall so far so hard.
Running and screaming and stalking and haunting and killing FRAGILE puppets of glass: Tanoshi
Need to read Observe and Terminate, figure out exactly what this Reintegration Tablet is.
Poor you, all alone. All alone and trapped, but I'm part of something greater now.
So much left to do, and say, and see.
Idem pius.
Good Luck.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

No More Chain

No more asylums. No more police stations. No more psychos babbling at me about 'The Magnificent One' like I can't guess what they're talking about. No more parents or brother hovering over me looking scared about every little thing. No more 'for you're own safety'.

Finally back home, which I rented out to some people for some extra cash during my various incarcerations.  So much to catch up on. So much to say, and do, and remember. In summation: I'm re-energized, and as fresh as could be expected.

I wanted out, and was glad to be gone, but now? Now I'm glad to be back. People to try and help stories to watch unfold. I've got shit to do. 4:15 AM, got too much energy.

Good Luck.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Was trying to get out



Worldofblackandwhiteandcrackling and shattering and the fogandthepeopleoverlapping.



Subete subete muda desu. Nanimo kawarnai! Minna shinde. minna shine! Sousousousosu darenimo kakaenai korosu da subete wa-Namae no nai.

ARGHH! Thelefthandburnswiththeneedtokill therightarmisuseless omoiga kangaega barabaraninatchaunda.


Sinnllos eine ermunterung.


Good Luck.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Namae no nai uta

So, it turns out if you walk out of a park bleeding, crying, dirtying, covered in blood, and shaking the cops will arrest your ass. They held for me 24 hours since they couldn't find evidence of a crime, but now I'm free and home, and won't be pulling stupid stunts for at least a week. Oh, and thank you Will, Tom, PTC and Jean. Thage, you're comments are noted and filed away but um...they were just lyrics from the titular song  'sakana' not 'sake'. Now I'm locking and barricading every entrance to the house and going to bed it's been a long day couple of days. One thing I will thank the cops for they forced me to pull myself together quite well so the 'gibbering insanity' has stopped there are still some lingering effects, but eh, I'll hit on them later for now barricading, hot bath, sleep.

Good Luck

"Namae no nai sono uta ga
boku no kokoro wo
sotto susumeru
dare nimo kikareru koto no nai
boku dake no uta"

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Me no nai watashi

Thanks for the concern J-J-Je-SHEHASANAMEDAMNIT! Jean. Words aren't completely useless another reason to cling to get out of here to salvage my mind. Tried asking them nicely to just letmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeout. Nothing doing. Tried threats and scare tactics, hunting them, nothing. it's showed it's shadowing me been shadowing me for awhile just moving through the trees and the mist and the fogandthebloodandthefragile- FOCUS. Just watching me slip further into gibbering insanity. Using songs to keep my mind focused ustlikethatnight where they threwthemselves at me threwthemselvestotheirdeathbreakbreakbreakFRAGILEFRAGILEFRAGILE-"me no nai sake wa sumeru ahh nanimo mienai nanimo mienai no sa mashiro"-thought of another way out.
Tom, he's not exactly teleporting he's popping here then popping out he just has to pop in here for a second. Even if he doesn't know he's there I will just need to know where to intercept exaCTLY.

Good Luck

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Dark Woods Circus

There is a lot of fog here. Like, seriously far FAR too much fog. yeahyeahyeahyeah ISEEYOU to. There's wi-fi here maybe not the time for speculation after. After I'm out, after I've changed the background back afterafter. Gottta..gotta..didn't get captured wanted to come here had to test something, confirm something had to get to...doesn't matter anymore, stay safe Aussie. Could use this chance to go pay everyone a visit personally, no, no, stupid. Physics work wierd here, ya know? I hit someone to steal this....this...this...thing. I know it has a name whatisitwhatisitwhatitis ithasaname! Pointless, that train of thought is pointless, calm down, calm. BACXK OFF FUCKER. Right, right, physics be fucked, hit the guy and his head kinda hit it, and it just collapsed then BOING back to shape...think they might be dead, didn't check. Getting out of her now, messing with my heads in wierd ways. Or maybe I won't too soon to be sure, left arm is burning head is poiunding branches are shifting and screwy and ISEEYOU. Need to get out.

Good Luck

Friday, February 18, 2011

I'll be seeing you

Stupid, stupid, stupid, sloppy work. Just leave him alone for a little while and he forgets to lock his door. Lucky for us huh~. Daddy wants to run a little experiment, and as you allknow He he is all about helping people who don't deserve it. Should I tell you more? No. No I think I'll let you sweat it out for a bit. Just know this, none of you can save him, except for the one with the serendipitous name bu~uut if he shows up the traitor bitch dies.

As for who I'll be seeing? Maybe the Knight of the Dead Tongue, or maybe I'll attend that funeral in his place, or maybe I'll give the happy couple my best in person, or maybe I'll talk to the drooling insane man, so many targets so little time~! 

The One

Monday, February 14, 2011

Razzle Dazzle

"Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?"

Only saw this movie recently. A damn shame, it's actually quite good. 

In other news, while Ava gets a hot date with our dear friend the Incompetent Fuck-up, I'm dealing with an investigative squad from a certain asylum. They haven't found this blog, nope they're searching everyone who had any access to the records in the past month. Turns out a large amount of documents have been stolen, some ripped from a computer and the all evidence of their existence destroyed. 

Said I wanted to help if I could gave them the official documents, and then I asked while they were checking the information. A little misleading, a little vagueness, out comes what they were really searching for 'hard copies of select information'. Probably those sealed documents, glad I hid them off-site.

Also a Valentine treat for all my fellows: a boring yet mildly ominous report.

"All Subjects have successfully been cured of their shared delusion. A new batch of Subjects has popped up, but they are of a less extreme case than the outgoing group. Subject/Patient ---has been a great asset in this endeavor. After my own meetings with him I have started to see the problem, His is a mighty presence, one that would be hard for children to stave off. I am no child however I can hold Him back, I'll personally handle all future Subjects, and their curing. I have thought of many ways to cure those who have seen Him. As for the current head of the Subjects, as I will be overseeing all future Subjects I don't think he'll be necessary any more. Finally, continue to watch all Subjects except Subject ----(Elizabeth) I will watch over my daughter myself.

Signed and sealed,

I've called her house...her dad is gone, left a note about how he was going to his daughter, and his children, those who were left. 

Good Luck 

Thursday, February 10, 2011

A God That Misses People~Romantic Fall

Won't bore you all with the exact report. Some time ago Max the guest told me all the names of the people I'd killed in November. It's been bugging me as to why. I found my answer; the names of all the extreme ward patients: the kids who shared that insanity, of being seen and seeing. Who I tried to save and failed, and then killed without even lifting a finger or believing in their salvation. 

"...always doomed to break everything, to crack, and creak but never break but watch things break."

I don't like that destiny, I refuse to accept it, I'm not in a conductive state of mind to keep people's spirits up. I will be though. Fuck that thing that's destroyed so much, we'll find a way.

Good Luck

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

It`s the end of the world as we know it

You know what I`m calling it right now Pascal Laugier is actually an Agent or Husk. Confused? He`s directing a film called The Tall Man and well...I`ll let the summary speak for itself:

"Set in the town of Cold Rock, "The Tall Man" is a story of the haunting secrets that hide behind closed doors. With children gone missing over the years leaving neither a clue nor a witness, superstitious locals talk of 'The Tall Man,' a legendary, mysterious dark figure who takes children away never to be seen again. When a woman's son is taken, the chase is on and with it the quest for answers: who is the Tall Man and what happens to the children?"


Good Luck

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Extend Ash-Hourai Victim

Regular Session with Subject/Patient --- #14

Doctor: About this relationship you've been forming with Elizabeth
Me: What about it?
D: I know you had contact with her last time you were here.
M: Yes
D: And you were getting along fine then, and when you first came
M: Yes
D: So what's changed?
M: Her opinion of it is changing.
D: How so?
M: She's started calling it almost fanatical names, like she's worshiping it.
D: And how are the others, and yourself reacting to this?
M: I don't like it, the others are agreeing, they think it's to be worshiped I think it needs to be killed
D: Right, right, I've let this go far enough this Tall Man isn't real He doesn't exist.
M: [Angrily] it, Doctor, it. it is not a man it is malice, and negativity given form, and if it doesn't exist then what happened to my friends?
D: [Soothingly] Yes, right, it, forgive me the others just prefer I refer to it as the Ta-that name.
M: Right, right.
D: Now then I feel we can move on
M: To what?
D: According to an incident report from a few days ago Elizabeth had cut herself and was saying some rather unpleasant things.
M: That happened.
D: You're response was, do you remember?
M: I punched her, trying to knock her out
D: And when the blood splattered on you?
M: Not my fault, she did it to herself, because of it, not my fault, couldn't be real, it's all a fake it's just paranoia, not my fault, but can't be real, fragile fragile all so damn fragile.
D: Jeffery! Focus!
M: [Startled] Huh? What? I-what?
D: Perhaps you should tell me more about this forest behind your house, just what kind of experiences have you had in there?
M: Just walks. Never saw anything that wasn't a bug. Heard them all the time, flashes from the perio-periph-peri
D: Peripheral?
M: Yeah, that. Deers, coyotes, foxes, squirrels, everything really.
D: Coyotes?
M: Or something, they were always just out of sight.
D: This didn't bother you?
M: A little, when I was younger, but they never did anything it just was.
D: Ever get lost?
M: All the time, but never for more than a few hours I always stumbled back onto the path, or something appeared and I followed and then I was out and whatever led me out was gone.
D: 'Something'? 'Whatever'?
M: Yeah, sometimes they were deer other times those dog-like things, squirrels, birds, whatever.
D: Every time you got lost?
M: If it was late.
D: And this isn't odd to you?
M: Got used to it.
D: Right.
[Nothing else important happens here 'regular session #15 however]
D: Are your fellows still-
M: Yes, they seem to think that's safer, and some are just.
D: And what are you doing?
M: Dissuading them reminding them it's all in their heads explaining it away.
D: And that's working coming from you?
M: Somewhat, it showed up and they started getting a little-
D: Yes, there was an incident report to that effect.
M: An incident report of it showing up?
D: No, of the extreme patients all gathering in one place in awe and terror except you and Elizabeth who were arguing and gesturing to empty air.
M: Where everyone seemed to agree it was standing.
D: Does it exist?
M: I don't know anymore.
D: it doesn't make sense, just forget, and see if you can get the others to as well.
M: Yeah, sure.
[Regular session #16]
D: Why aren't you as afraid of it as the others seem to be?
M: Because I hurt-I didn't-I maybe-stabbed it with an icicle. Was so mad, just killed the only people who would actually talk to me like a person, just grabbed at the first thing I could and stabbed. They were-weren't melting the mist burned and I stabbed it and one of the things the long things like a squid that were there but couldn't be that left a wound that can't exist. it lashed out, it hurt, it burned, it cut, I pulled the icicle back it' or blood, or whatever flew off. Landed on my arm, on my face, on my everything, burned so bad. Felt something, something that's not real, can't be real, can't be. it hit me, or, or something or I lost my balance or, one minute stabbing the next against a tree. Real loud now, with the screaming, and the blood and the mist that didn't burn so bad anymore and the pumping of my heart and theirs and the animals that were everywhere and wouldn't shut up and the screaming of the trees and it there in the center of the chaos the thing that isn't can't ever be, but is. Then it was gone and they were gone, and the trees stopped screaming and the animals stopped screaming, but my heart was still hammering away, and I walked, and then doors. Was lost, lost for so long, for hours, minutes, seconds? Reporters say three days, can't be can't be, can't be, wasn't gone that long, why were there doors in a forest, where did everything go? Why? Got annoyed told them, told them to take me back, doors opened whispered horrid things, that I should just die, that everything would forever be fragile, like glass, so fragile, always doomed, always doomed to break everything to crack, and creak but never break but watch things break. Out of the forest, animals watching me deer runs out looks at me, and walks away, bleeding, burning, still can smell death and blood, and taste iron, and dirty and crying and the icicle has melted, and they're all dead, and fragile and strung up in the trees. So fragile, so fragile, so fragile. Can't have happened, didn't happen, not, not, not.
(Here Doctor [REDACTED] forced a pill down Subject/Patient ---'s throat in an attempt to help him calm down. He displayed a rather violent reaction immediately retching before vomiting into the office's trash-bin, oddly this seems to have helped him regain his focus)
M:[Weakly] I...I apologize, that was all, all a fantasy to hide whatever truth exists in this head of mine obviously, but it won't be coming out today I think.
D: Yes, we will call this meeting done for today. See you next time.
M: Yeah.

Sealed document:
Subject/Patient --- continues to espouse his desire to kill the Recurring Problem, and has talked some of the lesser cases down into a more stable state of mind where they can be convinced it truly is nothing, however the more extreme cases such as Elizabeth [REDACTED] must be dealt with in slightly more extreme measures, hypno therapy and gentle nudging can create memories surely they, with some assistance can erase or suppress them as well. The 'leader' of the cult-fanatics Elizabeth [REDACTED] shall be the first test subject, Subject/Patient --- shall be the last circumstances permitting, his dissuasion and Elizabeth's removal from leadership should have a beneficial effect for all.

Signed and Sealed

I suppose it should be obvious since these documents are 'sealed' but it's becoming increasingly obvious that I am really not supposed to have these papers. I've also run a check on the staff registry, the Doctor who gave me these papers isn't on the staff registry, the actual Doctor who I was supposed to meet called and informed me that he had been attacked and someone had replaced him. I have since met him and obtained the 'official' documents. They match mostly, but the 'official' ones have a bunch of stuff either added or removed from the ones I received on my initial visit. The 'official' ones aren't the ones I've been posting, so what do you all say, is this realistic enough or am I being led astray by someone? If the initial paperwork is the real-deal I'm very lucky this blog and gmail account is under a false name, they probably aren't keeping that close an eye on someone who's been 'sane' for 6 years.

Other consequences of these papers being real: me and Elizabeth met in a mental hospital, she introduced me to it, it led me to her, her sudden defect to it's side wasn't so 'sudden' after all. shouldn't even think that until I get some theories on the validity of the reality in these pages.

Oh, and I haven't said this lately, and I really should be:

To everyone

Good luck, and give it hell.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Seeking Truth

Figured I should post a normal post...well normalish. It's more theoretical them my usual junk. When I've not been reading my madness, or putting on something funny/relaxing, or yelling at those 'damn kids' to get off my lawn, I've been thinking about the Stopping Light. Stopping? Why the hell, am I still referring to him like that? Redlight, I've been thinking about Redlight, and who he could be. Who it could be that's not Robert anyway, and...I can't believe I missed it, I'm pretty stupid sometimes.

Redlight can erase memories. How does he do it? Why does he do it? Who do we know that can such a thing without magic? Jay, that was his solution. He was always something of an amoral fuck-up, and he was last 'seen 'surrounded by it.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Major Surgery

Hospital records state that Patient/Subject --- had a severe and unexplained redness across the whole of his body as well as a large gash on his left arm. The redness faded before any conclusion could be reached as to its cause. Patient/Subject ---'s left arm was treated immediately, however the leading physician  noted afterward: 'the emergency paramedics noted the deepness of the wound, but at the time of surgery the wound was actually quite shallow. Further blood tests of [Patient/Subject ---] shows mild discrepancies with prior blood work.'

The victims were found two days later hanging from the trees of [REDACTED]'s public park, while Subject/Patient --- was still in the hospital. Victims were found in the usual state with several organs moved to different points; with one strange constant: the heart of all victims were placed whole in the left arm. The bones in the victims left arms have not yet been recovered in either the forest, or the victims' bodies. Various patches of skin on the victims' bodies appeared to have been melted off, as if by some high concentration acid, these missing patches of skin all have a tell-tale redness around them.

Judging by the state of the victims and Subject/Patient ---'s ramblings it is clear he has met the recurring problem, as such I move he be relocated to the extreme ward to prevent him from infecting others.

Signed and Sealed

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Black Star(Never Lose Myself)

Final session with Patient ---
Date: 03/05/03
Doctor [REDACTED]: Hello
Patient ---: Hi.
Doctor [REDACTED]: The heads have agreed to release you.
Patient ---: Really? Awesome!
Doctor [REDACTED]: However, I'd first like to confirm some things for myself.
Patient ---: Do you really have that authority?
Doctor [REDACTED]: As the lead psychologist on your  case, I assure you I can.
Patient ---: Fine, ask away Doc. I'll answer to the best of my ability.
Doctor [REDACTED]: You've made an amazing recovery in a short amount of time with no medication-
Patient ---: My problem is what I wit-did, what I did and what I subsequently saw, not a default error in my brain.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Indeed, and while I'd like to think these sessions are the sole factor to your recovery, in my years I've learned it's not that easy.
Patient ---: I'm not quite sure I understand what you mean.
Doctor [REDACTED]: How long has this all been an act? Since the beginning?
Patient ---: Ahh, I see, you think I used the 'I've gone insane' defense?
Doctor [REDACTED]: I do, to be frank you're symptoms are so rare, unique, and the trauma set in so fast, that as our sessions went on I found myself doubting your place here.
Patient ---: Well, I'll be leaving very shortly.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Or not.
Patient ---: A threat?
Doctor [REDACTED]: If you were to say you were cured and I were to disagree that just proves....
Patient ---: Denial. 'I'm not crazy' I say 'he is' you assure I'm labeled as 'in denial' and I stay in here 'till you get tired of the joke.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Do you think I would do that?
Patient ---: Perhaps, if you truly thought you were tricked.
Doctor [REDACTED]: A good answer, so do you think I think I was tricked?
Patient ---: You believe I tricked you for some time, but not the courts. 'Temporary insanity', and when I was truly cured [Deliberate pause] I continued to fake it, for what purpose?
Doctor [REDACTED]: To wait for the chatter to die down, and the sympathy to begin after all you were almost the one was killed that night, rather than that 9-year-old..
Patient ---: Very well thought out, and the concrete proof is....
Doctor [REDACTED]: My very own Catch 22, I can't bring my hypothesis to the table, even if it is the truth, for the only evidence exists in that brain of yours.
Patient ---: Catch 22?
Doctor [REDACTED]: A trap where the only way out of the situation is to not be in the situation. To use the example in the book of the name of this very dilemma: a pilot must be declared 'unfit to fly' so they wouldn't have to undertake the dangerous missions requested of them.
Patient ---: And the method to prove you're not 'fit to fly' proves you are?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Correct you would have to be mad to undertake the missions, and must therefore take them by choice, but the pilot would have to choose to be evaluated to even have the option of being seen as 'unfit to fly' but in asking to be evaluated they prove they are sane enough to be declared 'fit to fly'
Patient ---: So in this case; if I admit I was faking it, it'll be recorded and shown, but if I don't you'll trap me here for only you know how long...the example doesn't perfectly fit this situation though.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, if you admit you were faking you will still be released, but so to will the knowledge that you faked that insanity.
Patient ---: I don't plan on being put into another situation where I'm questioned by the police, I am, usually a very nice person.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, like you consoled Miss [REDACTED].
Patient ---: Yes.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Do you remember her hallucination?
Patient ---: Hallucination? Oh, right, the tall man with no face. I still don't get it, but maybe, no never mind.
Doctor [REDACTED]: That again.
Patient ---: Hmm?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Last time we met you were about to ask me a question then left without asking it.
Patient ---: Ahh...right, that. I was just curious, but then I remembered you wouldn't know anything about it.
Doctor [REDACTED]: I might.
Patient ---: It has nothing to do with me.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Ask the question, you may get something good out of it.
Patient ---: Like say the whole 'maybe he faked it' issue gets pushed away and never mentioned again?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes.
Patient ---: Maybe she was raped by an older man.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Oh, is that all?
Patient ---: Hey I'm 12 be shocked at the brazen suggestion!
Doctor [REDACTED]: Its just, we've researched that avenue before the number of cases-
Patient ---: Number of cases! Other people are seeing that same hallucination?
Doctor [REDACTED]: I'm going to be straight about this: many children see the same images from media, therefore it's not uncommon for a similar hallucination to be ingrained into children, I thought someone as observant as yourself may provide a slightly more stable insight into the fears, but it seems I was wrong.
Patient ---: Is that really all?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes.
Patient ---: Should I keep my eyes on popular culture, to maybe, help them?
Doctor [REDACTED]: No. You clearly do want to help, but it'd be better if you forgot.
Patient ---: That ward, does 'extreme' mean people who've had that hallucination?
Doctor [REDACTED]: You're getting released, forget everything.
Patient ---: I haven't confirmed your suspicions.
Doctor [REDACTED]: No, I never really expected you to, enjoy the rest of your life, I hope we never have to meet again.
Patient ---: Agreed. Goodbye Doctor, and thank you for your efforts.

Notes: Patient --- was released the next day. His words held no confirmation nor denial of his mental state for the entirety of his stay. I am officially suggesting we keep an eye on former patient --- for the next few months to ensure he does not meet the recurring problem.


I think you should all get to know my worse points as well. The doctor was right...sort of, some of it was certainly an act specifically the beginning, it was only in the darkness and silence that I saw the sight of the kid I killed, and I stewed and went half-mad, still don't deal well with silence to be honest. At least I finally have an answer to one of my questions: it was 9 years ago that I almost suffocated and killed someone in 'self-defense', the events of 7 years ago are still a jumbled mess in my head. I've shown the 'important' bits of that stay. 7 years ago is a little bit more... hectic and psycho from what I've seen. There's also more 'sealed' documents attached with that time. Well back into the roiling sea of insanity and words for me.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Voile, the magic library

Report of incident 2245 and following session with Patient ---
Date: 3/03/03
Patient --- entered 'special cases' ward and was found with subject ----. Subject ---- was clinging to patient --- and speaking of the recurring problem. Patient --- was attempting to calm subject ---- to little avail. Patient --- was reluctant to leave subject ----'s side but eventually relented. Patient --- should receive a session as soon as possible to prevent the recurring problem from becoming more prevalent.

Signed, and sealed

Patient ---: Hello, Doctor
Doctor [REDACTED]: Hello, son.
Patient ---: What seems to be the problem?
Doctor [REDACTED]: For starters that area you were in, you weren't supposed to be there.
Patient ---: [A brief pause] why?
Doctor [REDACTED]: We've already be over this; that area is out-of-bounds as it is for particularly extreme cases.
Patient ---: What is 'extreme' anyway?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Confidential. [Quickly] Now then I think you should know that Miss [REDACTED] suffers from-
Patient ---: Hallucinations, what else could it be? A tall man without a face that is 'always staring', what else could it be?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, good you are able to tell the difference between reality and illusion.
Patient ---: That isn't my problem Doctor.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Indeed, and in regards to that problem you have made great leaps lately to returning to normal society.
Patient ---: [Laughs] Yeah, sure 'normal'.
Doctor [REDACTED]: Now then, would you care to share how you managed to get into that ward?
Patient ---: No.
Doctor [REDACTED]: [Shocked silence] I-I see, then [how] about the usual game, you give me a hint to the solution and I'll-
Patient ---: No
Doctor [REDACTED]: Why?
Patient ---: All the hints you need should be in the security cameras, right?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes, yes, of course. Now then if you'd follow Nurse [REDACTED] back to your room.
Patient ---: [Still sitting, making no motion to stand]: Doctor?
Doctor [REDACTED]: Yes?
Patient ---: [Hesitates, then stands] Never mind,  it's not really important.

Notes: Patient ---'s rehabilitation is continuing steadily without use of medication, his inherently curious, yet distrusting nature however continues to be a roadblock. That final question, I wonder what he wanted to ask? Perhaps I can bring it up naturally in our next, and possible final meeting. The heads feel he is ready to be released, barring one final practical test, the nurses so far have noted he responds to nearby injuries as a normal person would: with shock and a desire to help, as opposed to his prior breakdowns. He seems to dismiss the recurring problem as nothing more than a hallucination, if he continues to think of it as such and forgot it, more the better. Review of the security footage shows the patient entering the special ward through a disused part of the building, and why weren't these doors locked?

Patient ---
Age at Admittance: 11
Gender: Male
Date of Admittance: 10/13/02
Date of Birth: 12/28/90
Date of Release: 3/05/03
Initial Diagnosis: [REDACTED]

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Kinjirareta Asobi-Pandora Hearts

Not the opening to Rozen Maiden.

Got the notes, and the transcripts with relative ease. I'm going through some of them now, two years in all. Just a heads up on my situation although it would appear while I was trapped in the past some things have been going on in the present. Will had that junk character binary which has apparently been decoded: 

"Twisted demon of a land forgotten wondering through the sands of time in searching for answers about its creation tormenting those who learn its nature given a name but not a face soon you will all be displaced".

Heh, 'wondering'. It strikes me as...ironic, that me, and it seem to have the same problem. A lot of new blogs have popped up, that I need to catch up on when I get the time. And Isabella came back just long enough to bid farewell, while Jean keeps going living only for the sake of saving another. Well if that's the identity she's clinging to I'm in no position to criticize. 

Good Luck

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Swear To

Red tape is such a bitch.

I`ve been making those calls and being redirected and put on hold too many times in the past 4 days. Good news is I`m a little closer...bad news is I have to go somewhere 3:00 in the morning here have to be...there...the mental hospital at...time isn`t important. To get, what I need, I have to be examined to ensure I won`t have a relapse because I see the notes. If it appears...if it appears, who knows? I might be calm, or freak out or...something. I had a point when I started this. Oh. Right. If I don`t come back... immediately, assume I got chucked into a padded cell.

If this is the last time I can contact you all.

Good Luck.

Never give up your hope.

I have every intention of coming back.

oh also:

''I will (EDITED) stab you computer phone lady''

Monday, January 17, 2011

Perfect Night

"This song is shapeless.
No real definable melody or rhythm.
But pure formless malice, a juxtaposition of the negative emotions put out by humans."

Time. Time is, a-a-a-lin egmnent. Line.....segment, line...line...I swear I didn' was it the thing without face in the graveyard. I didn't-blood everywhere-FAGILEfragilefragilefragilefragile. Everything dissolving into mist churning and lost and fragments everywhere glassfragilefragilefragileglass and blood and mist. Swirling mixing. Head Hurts.
Go back.
The background 
Back to the 8 9 years ago when nothing happened

Back to the 7 years ago when it was cold and lost and faceless and shapeless and infected
Line up the pieces. Tell it all. Ghosts ghosts hiding in the mist and the time and the blood and the fragilefragileglass....or is it ice?

I...I'm here now its my past thats scattered...I...I need to think to line everything up..I have some calls to make. I....
Will never lose it!
Good Luck

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Mauve Iro No Sympathy

A word to the wise: slicing open your arms is stupid. Usually. it kind of showed up on New Year's, just woke up and boom there's the enemy looking at me through my window. I stabbed at it with an icicle, then things get hazy I know I hit it because some of its...I'm going with goo had splattered on me. Don't think it was actually hurt but it did go away. I glared back for a moment and then started cleaning up the blood around me. it just watched until I had finished cleaning up. I walked out of the forest, alone, it was there, but it couldn't be, the mist, the blood, a world of...why? I kept the paper towels with my blood, not sure why, should just burn them. Stuffed 'em in a container for now. Still here.

Good Luck

Friday, January 14, 2011

Bleed it out

Missing time. A common problem. Time is getting shorter...longer...wound on the ledftt. STAB. Ice everywhere. Blood everywhere. it everywhere. Have to havet o havehavehabveto. Time is shifting, changing, the tide is crashing against the blwhik rook. Made of an unknown liquid, how does ice affect it? Notrightnotrightnotright. Mixing, have to [title]. Not some stupid crazy man.

We were just playing, and then He, it was there. Killed them. So easy like spider-webs like glass 01100110 01110010 01100001 01100111 01101001 01101100 0110010101100110 01110010 01100001 01100111 01101001 01101100 0110010101100110 01110010 01100001 01100111 01101001 01101100 01100101. Not me, not me. Like a labyrinth. Lost twining and scratching and clawing and bleeding. They didn't they didn't just broke just shattered melted into the mist. Lost for hours...minutes...seconds?

Crazy, but not in the same way.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

White Destiny

It's been snowing here a lot, lots of icicles everywhere. Real pretty, sad it only started coming down after Christmas. Focusing on things that aren't lost, my life, everyone left, my hope, my will to fight back.

The patient continues to show adverse reactions to others around him getting harmed. 
Jean...I hope Fizz finds her, and savers her.
Today, another patient near him cut their finger, his reaction was immediate and severe: clawing at his own throat with the repeated exclamation of "fragile". 
Good luck.
The events in the forest, have yet to be fully determined through interviews with the patient or investigation.

Friday, January 7, 2011

We've only just begun

We've only just begun to live
And when the evening comes?
And yes, we've just begun

8, this is 8. We have killed your friends. Every friend is now dead. 6. 6 years ago 'nothing' happened

5. Ignore the sirens, no one will come to save you.

7...7 years ago, time is shifting changing, 7 years ago nothing happened

x years ago


Saturday, January 1, 2011


A happy new year to all! To those who returned welcome back, the story hasn't quite ended yet, has it? "Fragile" "Elizabeth" that "forest" there are still many threads left to burn away to get to the truth.

To the lost sheep, the silent watchers, and the silent watcher as well

Good Luck

"So that my deepest prayer reaches
Today as well I continue to sing
Searching for the answers that are right here
Please kindly tell me

All the (x) reset"