Regular Session with Subject/Patient --- #14
Doctor: About this relationship you've been forming with Elizabeth
Me: What about it?
D: I know you had contact with her last time you were here.
D: And you were getting along fine then, and when you first came
D: So what's changed?
M: Her opinion of it is changing.
D: How so?
M: She's started calling it almost fanatical names, like she's worshiping it.
D: And how are the others, and yourself reacting to this?
M: I don't like it, the others are agreeing, they think it's to be worshiped I think it needs to be killed
D: Right, right, I've let this go far enough this Tall Man isn't real He doesn't exist.
M: [Angrily] it, Doctor, it. it is not a man it is malice, and negativity given form, and if it doesn't exist then what happened to my friends?
D: [Soothingly] Yes, right, it, forgive me the others just prefer I refer to it as the Ta-that name.
M: Right, right.
D: Now then I feel we can move on
M: To what?
D: According to an incident report from a few days ago Elizabeth had cut herself and was saying some rather unpleasant things.
M: That happened.
D: You're response was, do you remember?
M: I punched her, trying to knock her out
D: And when the blood splattered on you?
M: Not my fault, she did it to herself, because of it, not my fault, couldn't be real, it's all a fake it's just paranoia, not my fault, but can't be real, fragile fragile all so damn fragile.
D: Jeffery! Focus!
M: [Startled] Huh? What? I-what?
D: Perhaps you should tell me more about this forest behind your house, just what kind of experiences have you had in there?
M: Just walks. Never saw anything that wasn't a bug. Heard them all the time, flashes from the perio-periph-peri
M: Yeah, that. Deers, coyotes, foxes, squirrels, everything really.
M: Or something, they were always just out of sight.
D: This didn't bother you?
M: A little, when I was younger, but they never did anything it just was.
D: Ever get lost?
M: All the time, but never for more than a few hours I always stumbled back onto the path, or something appeared and I followed and then I was out and whatever led me out was gone.
D: 'Something'? 'Whatever'?
M: Yeah, sometimes they were deer other times those dog-like things, squirrels, birds, whatever.
D: Every time you got lost?
M: If it was late.
D: And this isn't odd to you?
M: Got used to it.
[Nothing else important happens here 'regular session #15 however]
D: Are your fellows still-
M: Yes, they seem to think that's safer, and some are just.
D: And what are you doing?
M: Dissuading them reminding them it's all in their heads explaining it away.
D: And that's working coming from you?
M: Somewhat, it showed up and they started getting a little-
D: Yes, there was an incident report to that effect.
M: An incident report of it showing up?
D: No, of the extreme patients all gathering in one place in awe and terror except you and Elizabeth who were arguing and gesturing to empty air.
M: Where everyone seemed to agree it was standing.
D: Does it exist?
M: I don't know anymore.
D: it doesn't make sense, just forget, and see if you can get the others to as well.
M: Yeah, sure.
[Regular session #16]
D: Why aren't you as afraid of it as the others seem to be?
M: Because I hurt-I didn't-I maybe-stabbed it with an icicle. Was so mad, just killed the only people who would actually talk to me like a person, just grabbed at the first thing I could and stabbed. They were-weren't melting the mist burned and I stabbed it and one of the things the long things like a squid that were there but couldn't be that left a wound that can't exist. it lashed out, it hurt, it burned, it cut, I pulled the icicle back it's...goo or blood, or whatever flew off. Landed on my arm, on my face, on my everything, burned so bad. Felt something, something that's not real, can't be real, can't be. it hit me, or, or something or I lost my balance or, one minute stabbing the next against a tree. Real loud now, with the screaming, and the blood and the mist that didn't burn so bad anymore and the pumping of my heart and theirs and the animals that were everywhere and wouldn't shut up and the screaming of the trees and it there in the center of the chaos the thing that isn't can't ever be, but is. Then it was gone and they were gone, and the trees stopped screaming and the animals stopped screaming, but my heart was still hammering away, and I walked, and then doors. Was lost, lost for so long, for hours, minutes, seconds? Reporters say three days, can't be can't be, can't be, wasn't gone that long, why were there doors in a forest, where did everything go? Why? Got annoyed told them, told them to take me back, doors opened whispered horrid things, that I should just die, that everything would forever be fragile, like glass, so fragile, always doomed, always doomed to break everything to crack, and creak but never break but watch things break. Out of the forest, animals watching me deer runs out looks at me, and walks away, bleeding, burning, still can smell death and blood, and taste iron, and dirty and crying and the icicle has melted, and they're all dead, and fragile and strung up in the trees. So fragile, so fragile, so fragile. Can't have happened, didn't happen, not, not, not.
(Here Doctor [REDACTED] forced a pill down Subject/Patient ---'s throat in an attempt to help him calm down. He displayed a rather violent reaction immediately retching before vomiting into the office's trash-bin, oddly this seems to have helped him regain his focus)
M:[Weakly] I...I apologize, that was all, all a fantasy to hide whatever truth exists in this head of mine obviously, but it won't be coming out today I think.
D: Yes, we will call this meeting done for today. See you next time.
Subject/Patient --- continues to espouse his desire to kill the Recurring Problem, and has talked some of the lesser cases down into a more stable state of mind where they can be convinced it truly is nothing, however the more extreme cases such as Elizabeth [REDACTED] must be dealt with in slightly more extreme measures, hypno therapy and gentle nudging can create memories surely they, with some assistance can erase or suppress them as well. The 'leader' of the cult-fanatics Elizabeth [REDACTED] shall be the first test subject, Subject/Patient --- shall be the last circumstances permitting, his dissuasion and Elizabeth's removal from leadership should have a beneficial effect for all.
Signed and Sealed
I suppose it should be obvious since these documents are 'sealed' but it's becoming increasingly obvious that I am really not supposed to have these papers. I've also run a check on the staff registry, the Doctor who gave me these papers isn't on the staff registry, the actual Doctor who I was supposed to meet called and informed me that he had been attacked and someone had replaced him. I have since met him and obtained the 'official' documents. They match mostly, but the 'official' ones have a bunch of stuff either added or removed from the ones I received on my initial visit. The 'official' ones aren't the ones I've been posting, so what do you all say, is this realistic enough or am I being led astray by someone? If the initial paperwork is the real-deal I'm very lucky this blog and gmail account is under a false name, they probably aren't keeping that close an eye on someone who's been 'sane' for 6 years.
Other consequences of these papers being real: me and Elizabeth met in a mental hospital, she introduced me to it, it led me to her, her sudden defect to it's side wasn't so 'sudden' after all. Also....no shouldn't even think that until I get some theories on the validity of the reality in these pages.
Oh, and I haven't said this lately, and I really should be:
Good luck, and give it hell.