So, it turns out if you walk out of a park bleeding, crying, dirtying, covered in blood, and shaking the cops will arrest your ass. They held for me 24 hours since they couldn't find evidence of a crime, but now I'm free and home, and won't be pulling stupid stunts for at least a week. Oh, and thank you Will, Tom, PTC and Jean. Thage, you're comments are noted and filed away but um...they were just lyrics from the titular song 'sakana' not 'sake'. Now I'm locking and barricading every entrance to the house and going to bed it's been a long day couple of days. One thing I will thank the cops for they forced me to pull myself together quite well so the 'gibbering insanity' has stopped there are still some lingering effects, but eh, I'll hit on them later for now barricading, hot bath, sleep.
"Namae no nai sono uta ga
boku no kokoro wo
dare nimo kikareru koto no nai boku dake no uta"
Thanks for the concern J-J-Je-SHEHASANAMEDAMNIT! Jean. Words aren't completely useless another reason to cling to get out of here to salvage my mind. Tried asking them nicely to just letmeoutletmeoutletmeoutletmeout. Nothing doing. Tried threats and scare tactics, hunting them, nothing. it's showed up...no it's shadowing me been shadowing me for awhile just moving through the trees and the mist and the fogandthebloodandthefragile- FOCUS. Just watching me slip further into gibbering insanity. Using songs to keep my mind focused ustlikethatnight where they threwthemselves at me threwthemselvestotheirdeathbreakbreakbreakFRAGILEFRAGILEFRAGILE-"me no nai sake wa sumeru ahh nanimo mienai nanimo mienai no sa mashiro"-thought of another way out.
Tom, he's not exactly teleporting he's popping here then popping out he just has to pop in here for a second. Even if he doesn't know he's there I will just need to know where to intercept exaCTLY.
There is a lot of fog here. Like, seriously far FAR too much fog. yeahyeahyeahyeah ISEEYOU to. There's wi-fi here maybe becuase...no not the time for speculation after. After I'm out, after I've changed the background back afterafter. Gottta..gotta..didn't get captured wanted to come here had to test something, confirm something had to get to...doesn't matter anymore, stay safe Aussie. Could use this chance to go pay everyone a visit personally, no, no, stupid. Physics work wierd here, ya know? I hit someone to steal this....this...this...thing. I know it has a name whatisitwhatisitwhatitis ithasaname! Pointless, that train of thought is pointless, calm down, calm. BACXK OFF FUCKER. Right, right, physics be fucked, hit the guy and his head kinda like...play-dough hit it, and it just collapsed then BOING back to shape...think they might be dead, didn't check. Getting out of her now, messing with my heads in wierd ways. Or maybe I won't too soon to be sure, left arm is burning head is poiunding branches are shifting and screwy and ISEEYOU. Need to get out.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, sloppy work. Just leave him alone for a little while and he forgets to lock his door. Lucky for us huh~. Daddy wants to run a little experiment, and as you allknow He he is all about helping people who don't deserve it. Should I tell you more? No. No I think I'll let you sweat it out for a bit. Just know this, none of you can save him, except for the one with the serendipitous name bu~uut if he shows up the traitor bitch dies.
As for who I'll be seeing? Maybe the Knight of the Dead Tongue, or maybe I'll attend that funeral in his place, or maybe I'll give the happy couple my best in person, or maybe I'll talk to the drooling insane man, so many targets so little time~!
"Give 'em the old hocus pocus
Bead and feather 'em
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?"
Only saw this movie recently. A damn shame, it's actually quite good.
In other news, while Ava gets a hot date with our dear friend the Incompetent Fuck-up, I'm dealing with an investigative squad from a certain asylum. They haven't found this blog, nope they're searching everyone who had any access to the records in the past month. Turns out a large amount of documents have been stolen, some ripped from a computer and the all evidence of their existence destroyed.
Said I wanted to help if I could gave them the official documents, and then I asked while they were checking the information. A little misleading, a little vagueness, out comes what they were really searching for 'hard copies of select information'. Probably those sealed documents, glad I hid them off-site.
Also a Valentine treat for all my fellows: a boring yet mildly ominous report.
"All Subjects have successfully been cured of their shared delusion. A new batch of Subjects has popped up, but they are of a less extreme case than the outgoing group. Subject/Patient ---has been a great asset in this endeavor. After my own meetings with him I have started to see the problem, His is a mighty presence, one that would be hard for children to stave off. I am no child however I can hold Him back, I'll personally handle all future Subjects, and their curing. I have thought of many ways to cure those who have seen Him. As for the current head of the Subjects, as I will be overseeing all future Subjects I don't think he'll be necessary any more. Finally, continue to watch all Subjects except Subject ----(Elizabeth) I will watch over my daughter myself.
Signed and sealed, INFORMATION EXPUNGED"
I've called her house...her dad is gone, left a note about how he was going to his daughter, and his children, those who were left.
Won't bore you all with the exact report. Some time ago Max the guest told me all the names of the people I'd killed in November. It's been bugging me as to why. I found my answer; the names of all the extreme ward patients: the kids who shared that insanity, of being seen and seeing. Who I tried to save and failed, and then killed without even lifting a finger or believing in their salvation.
"...always doomed to break everything, to crack, and creak but never break but watch things break."
I don't like that destiny, I refuse to accept it, I'm not in a conductive state of mind to keep people's spirits up. I will be though. Fuck that thing that's destroyed so much, we'll find a way.
You know what I`m calling it right now Pascal Laugier is actually an Agent or Husk. Confused? He`s directing a film called The Tall Man and well...I`ll let the summary speak for itself:
"Set in the town of Cold Rock, "The Tall Man" is a story of the haunting secrets that hide behind closed doors. With children gone missing over the years leaving neither a clue nor a witness, superstitious locals talk of 'The Tall Man,' a legendary, mysterious dark figure who takes children away never to be seen again. When a woman's son is taken, the chase is on and with it the quest for answers: who is the Tall Man and what happens to the children?"
Doctor: About this relationship you've been forming with Elizabeth
Me: What about it?
D: I know you had contact with her last time you were here.
D: And you were getting along fine then, and when you first came
D: So what's changed?
M: Her opinion of it is changing.
D: How so?
M: She's started calling it almost fanatical names, like she's worshiping it.
D: And how are the others, and yourself reacting to this?
M: I don't like it, the others are agreeing, they think it's to be worshiped I think it needs to be killed
D: Right, right, I've let this go far enough this Tall Man isn't real He doesn't exist.
M: [Angrily] it, Doctor, it. it is not a man it is malice, and negativity given form, and if it doesn't exist then what happened to my friends?
D: [Soothingly] Yes, right, it, forgive me the others just prefer I refer to it as the Ta-that name.
M: Right, right.
D: Now then I feel we can move on
M: To what?
D: According to an incident report from a few days ago Elizabeth had cut herself and was saying some rather unpleasant things.
M: That happened.
D: You're response was, do you remember?
M: I punched her, trying to knock her out
D: And when the blood splattered on you?
M: Not my fault, she did it to herself, because of it, not my fault, couldn't be real, it's all a fake it's just paranoia, not my fault, but can't be real, fragile fragile all so damn fragile.
D: Jeffery! Focus!
M: [Startled] Huh? What? I-what?
D: Perhaps you should tell me more about this forest behind your house, just what kind of experiences have you had in there?
M: Just walks. Never saw anything that wasn't a bug. Heard them all the time, flashes from the perio-periph-peri
M: Yeah, that. Deers, coyotes, foxes, squirrels, everything really.
M: Or something, they were always just out of sight.
D: This didn't bother you?
M: A little, when I was younger, but they never did anything it just was.
D: Ever get lost?
M: All the time, but never for more than a few hours I always stumbled back onto the path, or something appeared and I followed and then I was out and whatever led me out was gone.
D: 'Something'? 'Whatever'?
M: Yeah, sometimes they were deer other times those dog-like things, squirrels, birds, whatever.
D: Every time you got lost?
M: If it was late.
D: And this isn't odd to you?
M: Got used to it.
[Nothing else important happens here 'regular session #15 however]
D: Are your fellows still-
M: Yes, they seem to think that's safer, and some are just.
D: And what are you doing?
M: Dissuading them reminding them it's all in their heads explaining it away.
D: And that's working coming from you?
M: Somewhat, it showed up and they started getting a little-
D: Yes, there was an incident report to that effect.
M: An incident report of it showing up?
D: No, of the extreme patients all gathering in one place in awe and terror except you and Elizabeth who were arguing and gesturing to empty air.
M: Where everyone seemed to agree it was standing.
D: Does it exist?
M: I don't know anymore.
D: it doesn't make sense, just forget, and see if you can get the others to as well.
M: Yeah, sure.
[Regular session #16]
D: Why aren't you as afraid of it as the others seem to be?
M: Because I hurt-I didn't-I maybe-stabbed it with an icicle. Was so mad, just killed the only people who would actually talk to me like a person, just grabbed at the first thing I could and stabbed. They were-weren't melting the mist burned and I stabbed it and one of the things the long things like a squid that were there but couldn't be that left a wound that can't exist. it lashed out, it hurt, it burned, it cut, I pulled the icicle back it's...goo or blood, or whatever flew off. Landed on my arm, on my face, on my everything, burned so bad. Felt something, something that's not real, can't be real, can't be. it hit me, or, or something or I lost my balance or, one minute stabbing the next against a tree. Real loud now, with the screaming, and the blood and the mist that didn't burn so bad anymore and the pumping of my heart and theirs and the animals that were everywhere and wouldn't shut up and the screaming of the trees and it there in the center of the chaos the thing that isn't can't ever be, but is. Then it was gone and they were gone, and the trees stopped screaming and the animals stopped screaming, but my heart was still hammering away, and I walked, and then doors. Was lost, lost for so long, for hours, minutes, seconds? Reporters say three days, can't be can't be, can't be, wasn't gone that long, why were there doors in a forest, where did everything go? Why? Got annoyed told them, told them to take me back, doors opened whispered horrid things, that I should just die, that everything would forever be fragile, like glass, so fragile, always doomed, always doomed to break everything to crack, and creak but never break but watch things break. Out of the forest, animals watching me deer runs out looks at me, and walks away, bleeding, burning, still can smell death and blood, and taste iron, and dirty and crying and the icicle has melted, and they're all dead, and fragile and strung up in the trees. So fragile, so fragile, so fragile. Can't have happened, didn't happen, not, not, not.
(Here Doctor [REDACTED] forced a pill down Subject/Patient ---'s throat in an attempt to help him calm down. He displayed a rather violent reaction immediately retching before vomiting into the office's trash-bin, oddly this seems to have helped him regain his focus)
M:[Weakly] I...I apologize, that was all, all a fantasy to hide whatever truth exists in this head of mine obviously, but it won't be coming out today I think.
D: Yes, we will call this meeting done for today. See you next time.
Subject/Patient --- continues to espouse his desire to kill the Recurring Problem, and has talked some of the lesser cases down into a more stable state of mind where they can be convinced it truly is nothing, however the more extreme cases such as Elizabeth [REDACTED] must be dealt with in slightly more extreme measures, hypno therapy and gentle nudging can create memories surely they, with some assistance can erase or suppress them as well. The 'leader' of the cult-fanatics Elizabeth [REDACTED] shall be the first test subject, Subject/Patient --- shall be the last circumstances permitting, his dissuasion and Elizabeth's removal from leadership should have a beneficial effect for all.
Signed and Sealed
I suppose it should be obvious since these documents are 'sealed' but it's becoming increasingly obvious that I am really not supposed to have these papers. I've also run a check on the staff registry, the Doctor who gave me these papers isn't on the staff registry, the actual Doctor who I was supposed to meet called and informed me that he had been attacked and someone had replaced him. I have since met him and obtained the 'official' documents. They match mostly, but the 'official' ones have a bunch of stuff either added or removed from the ones I received on my initial visit. The 'official' ones aren't the ones I've been posting, so what do you all say, is this realistic enough or am I being led astray by someone? If the initial paperwork is the real-deal I'm very lucky this blog and gmail account is under a false name, they probably aren't keeping that close an eye on someone who's been 'sane' for 6 years.
Other consequences of these papers being real: me and Elizabeth met in a mental hospital, she introduced me to it, it led me to her, her sudden defect to it's side wasn't so 'sudden' after all. Also....no shouldn't even think that until I get some theories on the validity of the reality in these pages.
Oh, and I haven't said this lately, and I really should be:
Figured I should post a normal post...well normalish. It's more theoretical them my usual junk. When I've not been reading my madness, or putting on something funny/relaxing, or yelling at those 'damn kids' to get off my lawn, I've been thinking about the Stopping Light. Stopping? Why the hell, am I still referring to him like that? Redlight, I've been thinking about Redlight, and who he could be. Who it could be that's not Robert anyway, and...I can't believe I missed it, I'm pretty stupid sometimes.
Redlight can erase memories. How does he do it? Why does he do it? Who do we know that can such a thing without magic? Jay, that was his solution. He was always something of an amoral fuck-up, and he was last 'seen 'surrounded by it.
Hospital records state that Patient/Subject --- had a severe and unexplained redness across the whole of his body as well as a large gash on his left arm. The redness faded before any conclusion could be reached as to its cause. Patient/Subject ---'s left arm was treated immediately, however the leading physician noted afterward: 'the emergency paramedics noted the deepness of the wound, but at the time of surgery the wound was actually quite shallow. Further blood tests of [Patient/Subject ---] shows mild discrepancies with prior blood work.'
The victims were found two days later hanging from the trees of [REDACTED]'s public park, while Subject/Patient --- was still in the hospital. Victims were found in the usual state with several organs moved to different points; with one strange constant: the heart of all victims were placed whole in the left arm. The bones in the victims left arms have not yet been recovered in either the forest, or the victims' bodies. Various patches of skin on the victims' bodies appeared to have been melted off, as if by some high concentration acid, these missing patches of skin all have a tell-tale redness around them.
Judging by the state of the victims and Subject/Patient ---'s ramblings it is clear he has met the recurring problem, as such I move he be relocated to the extreme ward to prevent him from infecting others.